At a stop light, my wife pulled up next to me ... my emotional friend was fumbling w/ her purse on the floor?

Quick thinking! Maybe that PI training comes in handy. That was a close one, though. I don't think you want wifey to see you in your car with your EF, if there's any way around it. If she does, eh, what's the worst that could happen? Just better if you can avoid it. I think you handled it well.